Saw his v good friend online recently and his friend told me something which i do not know how much i should believe.. his friend told me that he ask him why he didnt think of patching up with me again.. and he told his friend because i can find a better guy and that i deserve someone better.. who is he to decide who is the best for me.. is he really that noble to give me up just because he thinks that i deserve someone better.. he told me that he wanted to break up with me is all for my own good and that i can lead a better life without him.. but so what.. did he ever wonder how much he has hurt me.. and the tears that flow because of him.. haiz.. really v tired of everything... and i really dun understand why in the first place he can leave me because of such a kind of gal.. a gal who smokes and drink and have a lot of bf before.. i think i can no longer trust another guy again just because of him.. why did someone who loves me so much so much can hurt me till like that.. and why am i so silly in the first place.. and since the gal always make him so unhappy then why didnt he let go instead? i really cannot imagine that i will love such a kind of guy so much.. i really got to wake up.. he isnt the 17 year old boy whom i know 7 years back.. he has already changed.. and he isnt the guy that i will love in the first place.. why am i sad over someone whom i didnt even will love in the first place.. haha.. all because of the stupid fortune teller.. now i think i wont even dare to fall in love again.. i dun want to end up falling into the same trap again.. a guy who can love me so much can even change till like that.. what more can i expect.. haha.. haha.. haha.. arghhh..... i really v xinku.. can someone pls help me from all these...  haiz..

went to bedok to pray to grandma today.. i really hate going to bedok because it brings alot of memories back.. even tampines i also kind of hate to go there..  glad that i didnt manage to see him there.. and i think for my entire life if possible, pls dont let me see him outside esp if i am alone.. i think i really cant take it.. everyone always say time will heal all wounds.. but it has already been 1 yr and 4 months already.. how much more time do i still need.. though i am slowly recovering but deep inside, the hole inside my heart is too big until i need a long long time to heal.. i want to find someone to fill up that hole, and to replace him but i really cant do it till now.. and i think it is not fair to the guy also.. i cannot be so selfish..  nobody knows how much i have been through.. i guess not even my good friends can understand the feelings i have.. though they are very supportive but i still need a bit more push... i did try my best and i believe one day i can do it...

took leave on thurs to go shopping w jess and cheryl.. we had a very fun filled day.. and we bought alot of things and i really enjoy spending time w my good friends.. just would like to thank all of them for all the care... and finally tmr i am going to meet ah ni le.. havent seen her for so long le.. hehe..

 A beautiful love story... Every year on the 7th day of the 7th month of the lunar calendar is the day of the reunion of the cowherd and the weaving maid.. they may be separated by the Milky Way but their love for each other never stop them from finding ways to meet each other. In the end, even the Jade emperor relented to let them meet on the 7th day of the 7th month of the lunar calendar once a year. every time on this day, all the magpies will fly to heaven to form a bridge for them to meet. if that day happens to rain, then it must be the tears of the Cowherd and the Weaving Maid... such a touching love story... would it ever happen in real life??? nobody knows... but i believe that one day i would find my true love because he is out there waiting for me...

天底下 如此凄绝美丽的爱情 从生到死 此情不渝。。。

Recently had a bad fall at home.. but because of this, i realise that i am really so blessed to have so many good and true friends who really care about me.. they were so worried and everyone took turns to come all the way to my house just to visit me..  thanks jess, cheryl, doreen, ah ni and juan.. didnt want ah ni to come all the way cos her health not v good also.. jess and cheryl still buy alot of chocolates and chocolates cakes for me.. cos they know is my fav..so sweet of them.. and thanks to leenz cos she also kept asking about my injury...I lost a lover for life but i gain back so many good friends.. it is really worthwhile..I am a happy and satisfied gal.. nothing more I can ask for.. thanks everyone.. and thanks to ron for sending me such a lovely card.. xie xie!

had a very very bad fall on wednesday night. came out of the washroom, step on the cloth and then fell with a bump on the floor. hurt so much that i kept crying. dad was awaken by me then in the end i kept crying so they had to send me to hospital. had 2 injections and xray done. doctor say will need about 6 to 12 weeks before I am able to fully recover. i am so afraid that in future will have relapse.. but hopefully won't... dunno how am i going to work on monday.. haiz why am i always so careless.. always fall down or bump myself.

haiz.. my heart still feeling v pain now and then.. i really dunno what more can i do to stop the pain and to forget everything.. i really rather i lose all my memories.. i really really miss him alot alot.. i already cry until my eyes are so swollen and small yet still cant make the pain disappear.. why? why must god treat me like that? what did i do wrong? why must make me feel so blissful and then let me fall down from the sky the next moment.. i want to get on with my life happily also.. luckily got doreen, jess, cheryl and ah ni always there for me.. if not i also dont know what would happen to me.. haha life has been hard for the past 1 yr.. all the tears that flow because of him.. finally when everything starts to pick up, but i still will keep brooding about the past.. feeling so pain because i really did love him alot.. someone who has love me and promise to love me forever suddenly change.. everything just happen too sudden thats why i cant accept it.. and i think that is the reason why i cant get over it.. if it has been solved in the right way, probably i wont be still hanging there.. i need to remove that needle from my heart before i can really get over the past.. haiz..